Why It’s Important to Talk About Addiction
Talking about addiction with someone else is tough at any age. When it comes to explaining it to children, especially those with close loved ones suffering from addiction, it can be hard to know where to start. Above anything else, reminding the child they are loved, keeping things honest and simple, and supporting them and their need to cope are all important building blocks. This conversation may be continual throughout various stages of your child’s life, so creating a strong foundation to build upon ensures the child can understand and cope with any struggles with you by their side.
Explaining Addiction to Young Children (Ages 5-10)
It can be intimidating to have to explain something as difficult as addiction to someone so young, but giving them a bit of understanding and reassuring them are vital to how they cope with hard information.
Use simple, non-scary language - Younger children need clear, gentle explanations. Avoid giving too much information they may have trouble understanding; keep it as simple as possible.
‘’Addiction is when someone has a sickness that makes it hard for them to stop doing something, even if it’s bad for them.”
Be reassuring - Information about addiction can be confusing, especially to young children. Reassure them that their loved one is getting help, they are in a safe place, and that it’s ok to feel sad, confused, or angry while they are gone to get better.
“Your mom’s in a place where doctors are helping her get better so she can spend more time with you when she’s healthy.”
Encourage questions - Once you’ve explained, encourage questions, but only answer what they’ve asked. Bringing up topics or responses outside of what your child is curious about could end up causing more confusion.
Talking to Preteens (Ages 10-12)
The steps above are still relevant to your preteen. That being said, they also may be more curious about specifics, be aware of stigmas surrounding addiction, and feel more strongly about their loved one’s situation.
Acknowledge their growing awareness - Your preteen may have more knowledge about addiction from sources outside the home, like school or the media. Calmly addressing their knowledge and questions validates their understanding of the situation.
“Sometimes, people use things that aren’t good for them, and it becomes a hard habit to break.”
Address their emotions: Let them express concerns or fears and encourage open conversations.
“It’s okay to feel confused or upset. Addiction can be hard to understand, but it’s not your fault.”
Talking to Teenagers (Ages 13 and Up)
Your teenager may feel like they’re already a full-grown adult, but the previous steps still have a place for them when understanding addiction. What your teen wants most is support and honesty, so being clear will strengthen their trust in you and their ability to cope.
Be honest and direct - At this age, teens are mature enough to understand addiction’s complexity. They may have more difficult questions, so how you respond is important.
“Addiction is a disease that changes how the brain works. Sometimes, people need professional help to manage it.”
Discuss responsibility and boundaries - Highlight the importance of setting healthy boundaries with loved ones in recovery. Help your teen list some boundaries that they need and emphasize how their boundaries help their loved one recovering from addiction by ensuring everyone is honest and as supportive as they can be with each other.
Suggest having a conversation about boundaries and expectations that they may refer back to when speaking to their loved one suffering from addiction. Discuss how to express their feelings and empower them to address their needs as well as those of their loved one.
Helping Children Cope
Starting with open communication is a great first step when talking to children about addiction and how it may be affecting someone they love. Provide them with answers and emotional support to validate their feelings and encourage communication to remain open between you.
It can also be encouraging for your child to see healing, growth, and progress. When possible, celebrate their loved one’s progress along their recovery journey. Encourage your child to express their excitement as well as their concerns in moments like this. Remind them that their questions and feelings are valid and you are always here to support them.
Finally, keep up your child’s normal routine as much as possible. They still have all the joys of childhood to look forward to - school, playtime with friends, enjoying activities they love - so make sure these are still incorporated into their everyday routine. Loving someone suffering from addiction is not part of the normal childhood experience, but that shouldn’t stop you and your child from enjoying all the great things childhood has to offer.
We Can Help with Hard Conversations
Having a loved one struggling with addiction is hard on everyone, but you don’t have to go through it alone. We understand how difficult these conversations can be at The Walker Center, and we’re here to help. Whether it’s guiding you through how to talk to your child or providing support for addiction recovery for a loved one, our team is ready. Reach out to us today to find the resources and help you and your family need on this journey toward healing.
FAQs
1. How do I explain addiction to a young child?
For young children (ages 5-10), it’s important to keep explanations simple and reassuring. You can describe addiction as a sickness that makes it hard for someone to stop doing something unhealthy. Emphasize that the person is getting help and is safe, and keep the conversation comforting without overwhelming them with too much information.
2. Should I tell my preteen everything about addiction?
Preteens (ages 10-12) are often aware of addiction from school or media, so it’s a good idea to provide honest, age-appropriate information. Acknowledge that addiction is a disease, but make sure they know the person is getting the help they need. Encourage questions and offer emotional support.
3. How can I support my teenager in understanding addiction?
Teenagers (ages 13 and up) are capable of understanding the complexities of addiction. Be honest and direct with them about the nature of addiction, how it affects the brain, and the importance of seeking professional help. Encourage open dialogue, and talk about the importance of setting boundaries with their loved one in recovery.
4. What should I do if my child asks difficult questions about addiction?
Answer only the questions they ask and tailor your responses to their age and understanding level. It’s okay to keep explanations short for younger children, but for older kids, being more open and honest is beneficial. Always reassure them that the person struggling with addiction is safe and getting help.
