The Importance of Boundaries when Recovering from Addiction
“Boundaries” isn’t a new word for many of us. In fact, our parents probably established all kinds of boundaries for us when we were children.
You’re only allowed to eat so many cookies after dinner.
One hour maximum of TV time today.
The furthest you can go is to the corner of the street on your bike.
While they may have seemed unfair or restrictive at the time, boundaries are important. They fall into that category of “unlikeable but necessary” for many of us.
Boundaries can also be important in our adult life, especially when you’re recovering from an addiction. Today, we’re going to investigate how to set boundaries and why they are important for you, your relationships, and your life.
But, what is a boundary?
Let’s jump into the first step which is figuring out exactly what a boundary is.
Boundaries can be both physical and mental limitations you set for yourself to protect you from certain situations. They are there to protect your overall health and wellbeing.
They can help set your guidelines to make sure you don’t put yourself in an uncomfortable or dangerous position. Once you have a good idea of what your boundaries are, you’ll be able to avoid certain situations, and ultimately take better care of yourself.
What are some boundaries that should be set?
There is no perfect guideline for what the most ideal boundaries are for you. But what you can do is look for consistent signs and know how to set your boundaries.
Some signs are obvious, such as any violent or potentially violent situations. Don’t put yourself in a situation that could turn abusive.
That’s an obvious one, but some other signs to look out for are:
Feeling overly anxious about something. Not the anxious feeling because you’re about to see the new movie you’ve been waiting about, but the anxious “I don’t know if this is a good idea”.
If you feel frustrated or overly annoyed, then that’s another sign a certain situation may not be for you.
Moments that you feel like you’re over-committing or committing to something just to please someone should also be warning signs.
There should also be boundaries in personal relationships. Continually crossing those boundaries may mean it’s time to move on from that person.
If someone is repeatedly inviting you to situations where temptations are clear or someone is not respecting your road to recovery, are they really trying to help you or just tempt you?
Setting boundaries with others can be hard as it requires agreement on both sides in order to properly function.
How to Set Them
Be honest with yourself and others around you. Recovery is not just a week or month-long hill that you have to climb, but a lifelong journey.
That’s why it’s important to have people around you that understand and are willing to hold you accountable to your boundaries.
It also may mean making some hard sacrifices. You might have to ditch Tuesday trivia night or hanging out with a certain group of people.
Bending one boundary just a little leaves the door open to bending it more and more until you fully cross that line.
If you or someone you know needs help in their recovery or just wants to discuss their boundaries, be sure to reach out to us here at The Walker Center. We can help you on your journey.
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