Starting 2023 Off Right: Forgiving Yourself Through Mindfulness
The new year is a time for taking a step back to ask yourself how things went. What our minds usually like to do is focus on the negative aspects. I didn't do X. I should have done Y. It's easy to get caught up in blame, guilt, shame, and regret. However, it's not healthy. We must be kind to ourselves, forgive ourselves, and learn from our mistakes. And one of the best ways to reflect positively is through the practice of mindfulness.
But what the heck is mindfulness in the first place? How can you use it to be more healthy, self-aware, and kind to yourself? To make your new year more productive and successful?
Here, we cover these topics and give you tools to tackle the new year head-on.
Opening Yourself to Yourself
We've all heard of mindfulness. But what is it, exactly? If you've never really practiced mindfulness, that's okay. Let's start with the basics.
Mindfulness is all about self-acceptance, focus, and consciousness. The first step is just looking inside yourself and getting a pulse on how you are really doing. This will help you better understand your emotions, accept them, and set intentions for the day, week, month, or even year.
What mindfulness is NOT, is a goal-oriented activity. It isn't like you can do a few breathing exercises and suddenly - BAM! You've achieved enlightenment or have all of the answers. No, it's more about the journey and not the outcome.
So how do people 'do' mindfulness? An excellent place to start can be through meditation and breathing techniques, which we'll go over below. But don't run away just yet. It's actually quite simple. We'll walk you through it! If you have already done this before, feel free to skip ahead.
How to Begin
Get Comfortable
Find a comfortable place to either sit down or lay down. You don't want to be distracted by discomfort.
Breathe
Close your eyes and begin by taking a breath. Recognize and observe the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that run through your mind.
Be Aware of Your Body
Be aware of your body and where you may feel tension. Feel the contact between your body and the ground. Notice how your lungs and stomach feel when you inhale or exhale. What other parts of your body are bringing your attention to them? Try to relax all your muscles and body parts. Start with your feet and work up to your neck and head.
Reflect on Your Emotions
In the same way you acknowledge your body - reflect on your emotions. They may be reactionary, conversing with your thoughts. Observe with quiet reserve, trying not to interfere. Let your feelings speak for themselves. As you try to clear your mind of thoughts, you can consider your thoughts as small feathers. Allow them to float by or gently blow them away. They might float back into your mind, and that is okay.
Taking it a Step Further
Once you have mastered the art of being alone in silence, with few distracting thoughts, you can introduce more complex ideas. For example, you can focus on gratitude. What are the things in your life that you give thanks for? What are the things you are responsible for that bring you joy? How can you thank yourself for the person you are today?
A great way to do this is by talking to yourself as though you were talking to a friend. Instead of saying, 'I'm proud of myself that I left my job,' you would say, 'I'm proud of you for leaving your job.' Using this voice will make it easier for you to uncover your accomplishments, as we are always kinder to friends than we are to ourselves.
The next thing you could practice is to set your intentions. How do you want to feel today? What activities or people do you wish to avoid because you don't have the energy? It is essential to ask yourself what your body and mind need to be happier and healthier.
Last but not least, you can spend some time reflecting on the year. A great way to start is by writing down literally ALL of your accomplishments. Then reflect on some of the hiccups you had or the things you could have done better. What are the takeaways on how to improve without blaming yourself? If you start to blame yourself, look at your list of accomplishments to remind yourself that you are not your failures. And you ARE capable of doing amazing things.
Practicing these exercises can have a significant impact on your overall mental health. You will get closer to becoming more grounded, stress-free, and in control.
Overcoming the Loud Silence
Okay, that sounds great, but when was the last time you gave yourself five minutes of pure peace and quiet? Setting time aside is the first hurdle. Trying to sit in silence without being pulled in different directions by negative or hurtful thoughts can be challenging. Just remember that it is common to feel distracted when you're starting out and just like with anything, practice makes perfect. It's all worth it in the long run!
In a Nutshell
These are only the first steps, and little by little, they will get much easier with practice. We hope this blog has inspired you to take action and be kind to yourself.
We know the holidays can be overwhelming for many. Starting the new year might be intimidating, especially if your body and mind need extra love.
If you're struggling with mental health or substance addiction, reach out to The Walker Center to get the help you need. Our trained professionals have assisted people for over 45 years, and we're here to listen.